For the first time in a week, I have internet at home. And it is fabulous. No more running up to campus to use the library to do homework. No more stealing internet from my neighbors. It’s pretty nice being back.
And where was I? Moving. The weekend after classes started. Which wasn’t very fun, because I spent the entire weekend at work. When I came home, greasy and smelling like a grill cook (a very pungent aroma), I had the distinct pleasure of moving heavy objects up the stairs to our new apartment. If that isn’t bad enough, the house where we live happens to be at least 100 years old, so there wasn’t much room to maneuver. Getting that futon of ours up the stairs was an experience…I only hope getting it back down again at the end of our lease will be easier.
And then, of course, there is the homework. Because I spent what little time I had left over attempting to understand economics. Pulling out my hair at the number of papers I have to write. (If you guessed a lot, you would be correct. It’s what I get for taking two writing proficiency courses the same quarter.) And the reading. So. Much. Reading.
Some days I’m not even sure I can do this, y’know? There’s so much for me to remember. I have to be an expert in my content area, which seems an impossible feat given the number of classes I have to take. 60 credits of history at 4-5 credits apiece is about 12 or 13 on average. For me, this breaks down to three courses in U.S. history, a Pacific Northwest History class, one course on modern Europe, one ancient history course, one course on Ancient Rome, one African history course, and four medieval history courses, plus the seminar/thesis I’m doing this quarter, which is also in medieval history. Given the broad range of topics that I’m going to need to be able to teach…that’s not nearly enough preparation. But then again, the state apparently thinks two courses in poli sci are sufficient to teach civics, two courses in economics are sufficient to teach economics, and one course in geography is sufficient to teach geography, so…
And then for my other endorsement I have to do five English courses. Five.
And then there’s all the other stuff. Methods. Planning. Assessment. Standards. Accountability. Research. Evidence.
It’s a lot to keep track of. So I find myself worrying, what if I can’t do this? What if this isn’t the path for me?
But then I have those days when I’m sitting in a room with a bunch of people who all want to do the same thing I do, who all are just as passionate about making a difference as I am, and it’s days like that when I know that this is where I am meant to be. That no matter how much work I have to put into it and how much sleep I will lose and how much stress I will be under, I will succeed.
And it’s days like that that make all of this worth it.